Funny Sausage Headlines That Will Make You Chuckle

Sausage is one of the most popular and versatile foods in American kitchens. It’s so popular, in fact, that it found itself the subject of some hilarious headlines throughout 2016. Here are a few headlines that are sure to elicit at least a giggle along with synopses of the related news stories.

Florida Men Attack Ice Cream Man Who Wouldn’t Take $20 Bill for Pickled Sausage

Apparently, it isn’t unusual for ice cream trucks to carry pickled sausages – at least in Florida. One such driver noted that he was attacked when he refused to take an obviously counterfeit $20 bill in exchange for one of his sausages. The culprits even pulled a gun on him, which he tried to wrestle away. Fortunately, the driver was only struck in the eye, and the sausage bandits were escorted to jail. It just goes to show that one should never use counterfeit money to pay an ice cream truck driver for pickles sausages.

Fugitive Sausage Dog Causes Mayhem

In the Jersey Evening Post, this headline got some attention. Apparently, passengers aboard a train in Gorey were forced from their seats when a wire-haired Dachshund decided she wanted to go for a ride. In some parts of the world, this breed is called a “sausage dog”. Here in the US, they’re more commonly known as “wiener dogs”. Although the pooch was reportedly well-behaved, her owners had been searching for her for quite some time, so the train was put on hold until the sausage dog could be reunited with her family.

Russian Sausage Producers Wage War on Discounts

Although the headline isn’t really all that funny, the choice of wording is – especially amidst the accusations that Russian government officials tampered with the results of the 2016 presidential election. This headline is underwhelming, though. Russian sausage manufacturers are losing money, so they will no longer offer discounts to their buyers. People in Russia just don’t buy sausage like they once did.

5 Tips from Bockfest’s Reigning Sausage Queen

Yes, you read that correctly. Bockfest, which is held annually in Cincinnati, Ohio, is an event where being the Sausage Queen is the highest honor. The queen is paraded through town beside an eight-foot wooden sausage, too. Among the tips she has to offer? Don’t disrespect the sausage, honor thy loyal subjects, and be prepared to fulfill the responsibilities of Sausage Queen with class, grace, and honor.

Bayern Munich Pay Sausage Debt to Ingolstadt

It’s always nice when a local sports team beats its rival. When Ingolstadt came out on top over its Leipzig rivals, Bayern Munich fulfilled a promise it made – to deliver a carload of white sausages if Ingolstadt won. Bayern Munich also promised beer, but much to the players’ surmise, it never arrived as promised. At least the team had some sausage to get their strength back after their amazing win.

Sausage is so popular that it even gets its very own news headlines around the world! Some are certainly funny, too, especially when it has to do with a carload of sausages delivered to a local sports team, or the reigning Sausage Queen providing advice to her successor.

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